*I wrote this in the week leading up to the last game, a game they played hard but ultimately did not win. That fact does not change the points in this, what is likely to be, an unpopular post.
Decisions decisions. So much of parenting is about decisions making, Breast or bottle?, time outs or distraction? pre-school? Montessori? Force them to wear hats & gloves or let them learn what cold feels like?
I made my life somewhat easier in that the boys mostly make my decisions for me, by their behavior. Early on I realized the power of natural consequences, and luckily for all of us, they do their homework, chores, get the good grades, so I rarely have to say "No " to anything.
Now I am faced with a decision I resent having to make. My 8th graders' football team is doing really well. One win away from being invited to the National Championships in Florida. Kudos to them, they work hard. And this is my problem, what adult or group of adults felt that 8th graders NEED a National Championship? What group of football lovers thought 13 year old's time is better spent, out of school, playing football, at great financial expense to the adults in their lives? And for what? An Uncle Rico moment of reliving what they had when they were 13?
These boys, from Newtown CT, are most likely NOT going to the NFL. We have some talented players, don't get me wrong. I am sure more than one football scholarship is in the making on this team. But is this extravagance necessary? Can't we have 50 state winners? Where has youth sports lost all perspective?
My son is not one of scholarship eligible, but I am confident I would feel the same if he got in more than his 4-6 plays a game. It's football- not brain surgery. I hate that some group of adults have made a decision that forces me to make a decision of having him participate in something I do not believe in.
I grew up with football. All 5 of my brothers played for all or most of their childhood & high school years. Heck, I was the mascot for my high school team when I was a senior. I understand the game, I enjoy watching it. My brother, a former football star in his own right, also thinks youth sports has lost all perspective, feels my son should go, even though he is likely to get in only 8 plays, because he is part of a team.
I won't go, I cannot lose a weeks worth of clients in between Thanksgiving and the Christmas holiday. But that doesn't mean he can't go, his dad may take him, or he can be sent with another family on the team, both of which makes me feel like crap. Certainly to fly down for the final game is cost prohibitive and ridiculous. Why do we adults do this to each other & to our children?
I am assured it will be fun. I am a big lover of the fun. Aargh.....
Why do we amp up the ridiculous? I remember hearing a dad justifying travel baseball, where you have to spend weekends at hotels, as necessary for the kids to learn how to travel. Are you kidding me? And what is the effect on the child? I get complaints all the time from parents that kids "these days" have no perspective. Well gee, when athletically blessed kids get to take a week off of school to stay in hotels to play a few games, what can we expect of them?
To make matters worse, an elaborate plan of basically begging for money at churches and companies was quickly being put into play,(if we won). I was embarassed that it was being asked of the kids. There are families out of work, for years, families in need of food , heat, clothes,the Holidays are coming and we are going to set out 35 boys at ask for support so they can go on a trip to Florida, to play football ? Really? And the KIDS have lost perspective?
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