What is happening out there?

In the last two weeks three females, that we know of, have gone missing and were found dead. At the hands of males, and worse 2 of them were killed by teenagers. What are we doing wrong?
My stomach sickens at the thought of this. I guess we could easily assume we are dealing with sociopaths, it seems like a statistical anomaly to have that many in this short of a time. Is there something more?
What are the seeds of misogyny? How do we show the lack of value in human life time and time again such that these children, the ages of my children, can commit these mind crushing acts?

My 17 year old spent last night filling out his last college application , my 16 year old spent the better part of an hour working on his boy band Halloween costume for a party he is going to this weekend. The thought of them spending a moment of their lives extinguishing the life of another is unfathomable.
But these three teens, charged with, confessing to, their horrific crimes, were too once little boys who worked on the Halloween costumes, who picked flowers , dandelions, for their moms at one point in time. who watch their dad's across the dinner table. Where did they veer of course. I read the parents turned the boys in, kudos to them for taking that hard step. Were there other hard steps they have taken? Was it a relief to have their kids out of their homes? Why am I not hearing more public out cry that these are teenagers TEENAGERS! Killing little girls?

I have heard some feedback, " keep your kids inside", " they should not be allowed to ride their bikes". My own son has said he wished he was born at the time of life I was, when he father would take off with his friends for day long bikes rides 15 miles from his home, or my brothers & I would venture off into the woods behind our house until the street lights came on. I get the  " what" of what we are loosing. I do not get the " Why" and can somthing be done about it?

Will" going outside to play", be something my grandchildren see on old movies?

Mistakes were made, by me

I was playing a therapeutic game with a client the other day. He picked a card asking him to express the biggest mistake in his life. He's 9. As he pondered his " mistake" I was flooded with all MY mistakes and had to shake my head at trying to decipher the biggest one.

Clearly not thinking the physics thing through, leaving my 3 month old on a hammock while I planned to mow the lawn is up there. My stupidity hit me in time to turn around and see him slide onto the long, soft grass. That was one of the first ones that flooded my mind. No grass mowing for a while.
Then there are the car accidents, none severe, but moments of taking my eyes off the road, to reprimand a child, take a sip of a drink, could have been much worse.


After the session I spent some time thinking over my list. The above aside, most of my mistakes have come from succumbing to my fear instead of living large. The first house I lived in in Newtown was amazing, but after the divorce I was overwhelmed by the 36 entrances & exits on the first floor and being a single mom, so I moved. That's a regret. It had a prefect set up for my office, and a pool. Ah Well.

Holding on to people or things too long, allowing myself to get treated poorly or accept less than I deserve for fear of being alone, in both love and friendship.

Things I wish I had had the self control to hold my tongue instead of saying, but many more things I wish I had had the guts to say in the moment.

I see over and over life is full of choices, some of which will be mistakes. And at 46 sometimes I wish I didn't have to be the one making those choices, but I am, by choice and not mistake.

What I apparently need to learn, is live a little larger.
Oh my client, his was singing loudly the wrong words to a song. To be young again...