One less passenger in the car

driving off on his own

He's off. After a flat tire start to the day, my first born was delivered to JMU, his new home for four years. To be honest, I am doing better than I thought I would, and better than he thought I would too, as he told me in front of his roommates family. " I thought she'd be worse" was the quote.
I have a few idea why I don't feel the earth beneath my feet has given way. First and quite incidentally, #2 started moving into #1's room before we even left the driveway. Looking back this was a good thing, I ran into another recently launched mom and she said the worst was walking by his empty room. Not an issue here.
And as you know I am a big fan of Mother Nature. She prepared us brilliantly. The day before he left I was helping him pack, " Oh I only have 7 pair of underwear", " NOW!, TODAY! you tell me this!" I not so calmly responded. " Today is the day I am packing" was his very calm reply incensing me all the more. Just then a friend texts me asking how it was going. My text back was " My sadness is tempered by my desire to ring his neck". I also called his dad, who was on stand by to help load the van and suggested he come sooner rather than later as there may be No child to send to college if I was left alone with him for much longer.
I also changed my room around, and painted for the first time in my life ( lame I know), and planned a dinner with friends, and sobbed sometimes, and signed up for trainings I have long wanted to do but was too busy parenting to have time for.
Making lunch for two hurt the first time, and the first time we sat down for dinner I noticed the dog was missing. Instead of her usual spot between Alex's chair and my own, she was upstairs lying by his bed in his new room. She knows. I wish I could bring her down when we go to visit in 34 days (who's counting?), but alas not possible.
#2 has taken over Alex's request for a picture a day of the dogs, and I am trying very hard to own my mother's mantra of " No news is good news".  And there are times, with our own busy lives that it feels right to have things the way they are. Then I heard his voice and had to hang up cause I started to cry. I am not sure how long I can go without laying eyes on my son, but we have not settled into a routine yet, he needs a week or two to get the feel of the place before I ask more of him, it's just how he works. We have sent pictures of food we have eaten, he has complained about the " girls" umbrella I packed for him, it was brown not black (who knew?) . He's already made plans to not come straight home at Thanksgiving break ( deep breath, don't let him hear your gasp), and he has figured out a whole lot. I am happy for him, and that beats my sad any day of the week, even if the car is a little lighter.
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