So many years ago, when I was in a better financial situation than today, someone who I have been friends with since early childhood was in a very tough spot. She was faced with loosing her home to foreclosure. Against my attorney's suggestion, I loaned her over 20K, yep, 20K. It kept her kids in their home, and she promised to pay it back within 3 years.
5 years later, she had a new car, new carpeting, a running pool , an entire new wardrobe and new furniture, actively donated to causes that gave her good exposure and I had nothing. I had heard rumors from other people that she was shady when it came to money, stories of stiffed carpet companies, and questions about her integrity in caring for a family member. But I lead with the heart and I believed her when she talked about how important our friendship was.
My friends were furious at me for being a patsy. I made as many excuses for her as she did at times. While she took her kids out for dinner, bought ball gowns, sent out the Christmas photo cards each year, she gave me zip. She started paying, a little , sometimes, when she felt like it. But by then I had had enough. I needed to look at the patterns of picking people who were abusive, and not speaking up until the relationship was too far gone. I had to severe all ties to get any kind of regular payment, and even that, after having the numbers run, was equating to $15 per month off of principle.
God do I feel like an idiot.
Fast forward a year, roughly $170 from the original loan has been payed back. Her current arrangement ( that she is willing to do) is $35 per week, except when it doesn't come in each week. Like it hasn't for the past 5 weeks. She is full of excuses and not "understanding" how it keeps happening. I don't know, but she was the person who turned me on to on-line banking 8 years ago. I have never had the type of issues she has been having with her bank. Oh yeah, except it's my bank too, sooooo
So tonight, after once again getting no money from her, when she texted me that she ran into my children out having dinner, and I didn't take well to her complimenting how good they look, ( I need money from her, not her opinion of my children's good looks) I was told I was "bitter."
I'm working two jobs & on weekends because she has not paid me back, yeah I am bitter. If I had that money, I would not be bitter. I would not ever be friends with her again, as she is unscrupulous, selfish, dishonest and lacks integrity. Oh but she doesn't want me questioning her decisions, or lack of commitment to repaying the loan, that kind of stuff cause it makes her feel bad.
The last thing you want to do to a person who takes advantage of a friendship, and does not honor their responsibilities is make them feel bad about themselves.
Yes it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth:
So I googled it :
A lack of, or change in, taste often occurs when something interferes with the normal taste process.
THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. THE NORMAL PROCESS WOULD HAVE BEEN TO HONOR THE GIFT I GAVE AND PAY IT BACK IN TIME AND FORGO PERSONAL WANTS TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
The wonderful woman I wrote about it my last blog once said "No good deed goes unpunished" How right she was.
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