Parenting- not for wimps

I went to a parent seminar today, and ran into a high school friend. She admonished me immediately,  "Parenting sucks  why didn't you warn me!". I tried to be supportive, " yes it's hard" I said.
"No", she replied," It sucks., You told me giving birth was hard you didn't tell me parenting sucks!"

I had apparently called her ( my memory is what sucks) a week before she gave birth to her first and told her everything no one told me about giving birth.  But I know I have often said, "There is more opportunity for joy per minute from 0-6 yrs old than anytime thereafter", I reminded her of this, she said I never told her. I told her I was probably busy savoring the joy with my kids. LOL  But yep, now that hers' are a teen and pre-teen and mine are all teens, ( in 9 days) parenting is hard. Really HARD.

Luckily my scolding was cut short by the speaker. John Hamilton LMFT ( Like me yeah!) spoke about a whole host of parenting concepts, not the least of which is it is not about US. US as in the adults. Parenting is about our kids. He even gave us questions, a report card of sorts to ask our kids. ( more about that later) He  did say, "Suck it up, grown up, act like an adult and do what you are supposed to do. Be there for your kid, have their backs," and teach them how to be functional adults.  He did not say this should be fun for you ( that was those first 6 years,I swear) . As a matter of fact what he described sounded exhausting. Pay attention to our non-verbal as well as verbal messages, keep your emotions in check, don't over react, accept them where they are at, know when to get involved, when to let go, listen to them, allow them room to be who they are without our expectations weighing them down. Hold them accountable, lovingly. Be a positive role model for them and their friends. Get involved, but not overly  involved. You got to be a teenager once, now it is their turn. Catch them being good, let them know you caught them, be realistic, support them WHEW!!!!!

I got so much good info, ways of saying things, out of his lecture, that I cannot wait to share. Stay tuned!
And put the big girl panties on cause this mom thing, it is not for sissies.