Fair is fair

One of the corner stones of my parenting philosophy and therapy practice is, I do not expect more from those around me than I ask of myself. To that end, one of the rules in our house is the kids cannot swear if I'm not, and I usually don't ( in front of them anyway). But if I mess up, and I have been know to on occasion, then they can say whatever swear I said, the same amount of times I said it, without repercussions. This got me in trouble a bit when I would be singing along with some of the country songs. " Mom , you just sang " hell" now I get to say it.  " I would smile sweetly and say, " Yeah, you just did, we are even". They got wise and would just not mention it, and count them up and at times use them all at once.
It was a little cute. My oldest son often criticizes my parenting by complaining, "We are like the only kids I know who do not swear."  Still trying to see how that's a bad thing. We talk about verbal integrity and being clear with what you mean. When a study came out saying swearing when you hurt yourself, like stub your toe, actually reduces pain, they were granted permission to swear in those times. Another criticism from my first born, "You are always reciting studies, I don't care what the studies say". Ah the downside of being born to a mental health professional. Poor kid.

But now I have to take some responsibility for something. I do expect more of them than I myself give, and it needs to stop. I have been trying since January to loose the weight I have been carrying around for 5 years now. Some is gone, but I am still far from my goal. Did I say I had been trying? Well yes, whenever I am not eating chocolate, I am trying. I walk fast several times a week. I eat healthy 80% of the time, and then I get bored, or frustrated and I eat sugar. It occurred to me last night, after some pretty devastating sights in a dressing room mirror, that I cannot expect my children to avoid drugs if I am not willing to avoid the most common one.

being above the influence means different things to different people

Sugar. Studies ( there I said it again) show the addictive quality of it, and yet I ignore that and give into the temptation when times are a little tough. Isn't that what alcoholics & drug addicts do? Use their drug to cope with tough emotions? And, like an addict, I am incapable of moderation. It's not one piece. it's many. I may not even be hungry, and once I start, the sugar makes me crave more. Diabetes runs in my family. You'd think that also would motivate me. But I need to return to my philosophy, which to date has worked out really well. I am holding myself accountable now and going forward, to be a better mom, I need to walk the talk.   And now I have to go walk my walk. Happy Easter Everyone!