My baby

Turns 13 this year. He still takes my breathe away whenever I look at him. I've noticed he hasn't been featured in the blog much. Mostly a function of the lack of frustration and anxiety he brings to my life.      ( Thank God! Having the two older brothers, I've asked him to hold off on his teenage angst until Alex can return to quasi human form) Don't get me wrong. Give me five minutes and I can work myself into a frenzy of worry about any one of my kids. I can take what is their normal personality  and project all sorts of concerns into their lives. I try hard not to, occupational hazard.
Any of you who have more then one child know you have a moment when you are pregnant with the second, when you wonder, having just experienced a love you could not ever have described, "will I love this next child as much?" Is it possible to love another? And you learn, you quickly learn a mother's heart is expansive and she will equally love each child fully and completely. Thank you Mother Nature.
What I had never experienced until the birth of my third son was literally having my breathe taken away from  me. I had used the expression, " breathe taking" "takes your breathe away", but I have never ever known what it felt like, until him. And then nearly every time I saw him, see him, I have the same experience. A moment when the air leaves my lungs, uncontrollably. It used to surprise me, especially when I had only turned away from him, turning back & seeing his drool covered smile again,  it happened an instant later.

There is something special about every child, I know. But this kid... People who don't need to say a word to me about him comment on what is best described as an aura of spirituality. We're not even religious, spiritual yes, not religious. And yet this boy has a light in him, a joy, a knowing that I can only account for as having been God given. He is blessed and I am so very blessed to be allowed to raise him. He knows I feel this way,we have a thing we do, who loves who more. I claim my ability as my age allows more love to come through me, he feels he has the upper hand because of his youth. Either way, glad God decided I should be his mom.