And so it goes

The boys and I attended the memorial for my Great Uncle Seymour Brandman yesterday. Uncle Sey was married  to my Aunt Rita, my grandmother's baby sister and the youngest of the eleven children in my Grandmother's family. Since the time I was ten my childhood was marked by the passing of these family celebrities. At the time, naturally, I did not realize the significance of each passing. I was more aware of the new thing I was observing. Such as my Great Aunt Mary wailing " It should have been me",over and over at her younger sister's wake.  Aunt Josephine, who had passed, was 76 and the rumor ( My grandmother & her sister's told stories that sounded fascinating, or maybe they believed them) was the Aunt Joe died a virgin of cervical cancer, and of course the Doctor never needed to check there, since she was a virgin, so they did not catch the cancer soon enough. Maybe it was true. Something didn't sit right with my ten year old ears.
It seemed after Aunt Joe, another relative from that generation left us each year for a while. Until  there was Aunt Rita , Uncle Sey and my Grandparents left. I was so happy the couples had each other. Four people whose lives spanned 6 +decades together, their stories shared, their wisdom in common. The represented the Italian foundation of our family, and the inclusion of Uncle Sey's Jewish heritage left a mark of openness and against any bigotry, without even trying.
They were there, those four, celebrating our marriages and the births of our children. A rare things in this age of moving all over the country and the world, and relationship being cast aside. Our throw away society is going too far. There is a cost we aren't even aware we are paying. They supported each other, entertained each other, they were each other's people. They were my people. My children's people.
On the way down to the service Alex amazed me with his accurate description of Aunt Rita & Uncle Sey's house. Each room, what we did  in them how we would walk down to Silvermine Tavern and feed the ducks, climb the tree in her front yard, play pooh sticks. When I am an old lady I am going to have a tree kids can climb in my front yard. It has been years since we had been there.
First we lost Aunt Rita, far too soon for a woman who always had a kick in her step and never a gray hair. She claimed it was due to eating her vegetables as a child. Then on his 93rd birthday my Grandfather tidied up his life and gave one last wave. My grandmother left us on January 31st this year at 97 1/2 years old, at home as she wanted it. And now Uncle Sey, just short of his 90th birthday.

I knew Uncle Sey was a businessman, and Brandman Paint & Decorating Center was his, I knew he was a pilot and liked spending his winters in Florida. He was one of the few in the family who still referred to me as  "Cathy-Jo", after my Great Aunt Josephine.I can recall his familiar voice saying it as I write. I did not know Uncle Sey was in the Coast Guard Auxiliary, or that he was an integral part of the beginning Norwalk Oyster Fest. I found these things out at the service. We forget these people whose presence in our lives we take for granted do things before and after we visit them. They do interesting things. Talk to someone over 80. They have a life, they have seen things we will never see, they have done things we will never do. They are our precious roots. Care for them well. And to you four...I love you, I miss you and I'll be seeing you.